Bewildered Heart (Dark Wing Series Book 3) Read online

  Bewildered Heart

  Ellie Pond

  Contents

  Preface

  1. Flashback with a Punch

  Day Two

  2. Happy Birthday

  Day Six

  3. Wallow Away

  Day Six

  4. Feel the Rhythm

  Day Six

  5. Hydration

  Day Six Super Late

  6. Fireball

  Day Seven Super Early Morning

  7. Infirmary again

  Day Seven Morning

  8. One More Witch

  Day Seven Noon

  9. Almost

  Day Seven

  10. A lot to learn

  Day Eight Early Morning

  11. Instinct

  Day Eight Three pm

  12. More Than Wild

  Day Eight Early Evening

  13. Alpha

  Day Eight Early Evening

  14. Not in Kansas

  Day Eight Closing on Midnight

  15. Rocky Waves

  Day Nine. Just barely

  16. Dark Wing

  Day Nine

  17. A New Day

  Day Nine Early Morning

  18. May Grace

  Day Nine Morning

  19. The Dragon

  Day Nine Afternoon

  20. The Prophecy

  Day Nine Evening

  21. Along for the Ride

  Day Ten Morning

  22. Return

  Day Ten Late Afternoon

  23. To Us

  Day Ten

  24. Maybe

  Day Ten

  25. Forever?

  Day Ten and Eleven

  26. Indeed

  Day Twelve

  27. A Lot of Love

  Day Twelve

  Epilogue

  About the Author

  Copyright © September 2020 by Ellie Pond

  First Edition

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  Cover design by Moonstruck Cover Design

  Developmental Editing SB Edits

  Line edits by Lori Diederich

  Beta Reading by Charlotte Kane and Sarah Urquhart

  Proofreading by SB Edits

  Preface

  Bewildered Heart is the third book in the Dark Wing Paranormal Romance Trilogy, Pennsylvania Wolves.

  Flashback with a Punch

  Day Two

  Get through the dinner and get the mating over with played on repeat for Spencer. Once mated, Aurora’s ankle might heal enough for her to enjoy the rest of the cruise.

  “Stop it.” Aurora glared at him.

  They needed to talk; she had to see it his way. He had to convince her to mate. His pack needed an alpha pair. He jutted his chin out at his stubborn best friend.

  Golden mirrors reflected their image throughout the Hoard dining room, one of the Dark Wing’s three main dining rooms. He watched Aurora’s ponytail bob in the mirror behind him, and he wanted to pull on it like when they were kids. To see her laugh. Those days were long gone. She would have swatted his hand away. They’d mate. Not a mating of love, or fated mates, but one of friendship. She’d been a part of his life for a long time: at first as the little sister who was always hanging around and then as his best friend. When he needed to roll around a new idea, he asked her opinion first—always.

  The pact they’d made all of those years ago—to mate if they were both still single when he turned thirty-two—would come true. He could do this. The pack liked her. He liked her. That was enough. After this cruise, things would be fixed. The pack needed stability, and him being an unmated alpha for the last ten years had put things off balance. Challengers from outside the pack were increasing every year. So far, the savagery of his wolf had annihilated them all. The biggest issue was that the wrong type of female wanted to be his co-alpha. He’d had to upgrade his house’s alarm system, as those eager females had a bad habit of inviting themselves into his bed.

  Out of nowhere, his brother let off a low growl.

  Spencer’s head snapped up in surprise. What the hell was wrong with him? Duncan’s crush on Aurora was getting out of hand. “You have a problem?” Spencer said in a hushed tone.

  “Maybe I do.” Duncan’s jaw tilted up.

  “Hey, look what I have here: some amazing Belgian quad from the Bjørn Bar. I brought one for all of you.” Naomi, the server, put a glass in front of each of them and whispered into Aurora’s ear. “You need any help, wave me down.”

  A flash of anger zipped through him. He took a deep breath so he didn’t send alpha waves of anger out. But Naomi thinking Aurora would need help irritated him. Spencer glanced at Duncan, who looked irritated too.

  “I’m fine. Thanks.” Aurora took a sip and coughed. “That’s strong.”

  “This is amazing.” Gunnar winked at Naomi.

  Spencer stared at Gunnar, willing him to turn down his fucking over-the-top stud charm.

  Spencer didn’t pick up his beer. If anything could get him drunk, it was the flask of Dragon Ale in his pocket. And he wasn’t sharing it.

  Aurora picked up her menu and hid behind it.

  Something smelled different. Amazing, really, unlike anything he’d scented in his life. He wanted to jump in it and breathe it in. Michele and a tall human were making their way across the golden room.

  When they reached the table, Michele sat down next to Gunnar. Her long blonde hair hung straight to her waist. “Hey, tell me today’s totally been better than yesterday.”

  “Did you have a nice nap?” the tall human said to Aurora. A wave hit Spencer in the gut. Mate, his wolf screamed. The universe and fate gave him a slap, like the firing of a starting pistol. Everything slowed. His pulse fluttered. He glanced at Aurora, his best friend that he’d almost locked into a foolish pact. She didn’t want it, and while she hadn’t said no directly, he understood her intent. His own scent was changing. Time sped forward.

  “I did. These crutches are taking their toll on me.” Aurora’s menu now lay on her lap.

  Spencer’s brown eyes bounced between Aurora and Lauren. What was she even talking about?

  “Did you enjoy the pool?” Aurora asked. “Oh sorry, I forgot you didn’t meet Spencer earlier. Spencer, this is my college roommate, Lauren.”

  Everything sounded like he was underwater.

  Lauren stepped around Duncan and put her hand out for Spencer to shake. He glanced at Aurora, and guilt roared up in him. He did his best to keep his alpha wave from rolling over his pack members. Lauren’s auburn hair was smooth to her shoulders, and her brown eyes twinkled at him as her lips turned up in a demure smile. She was taller than most females, but her head stopped at his chin. Mate, his wolf cried out again. Spencer’s stomach soured with unease. He stared at her hand long enough that a cloud of discomfort circled the table. Guilt pulsed at him. Finally, he took her hand. The spark hit him hard as her skin made contact with his. Lauren’s auburn hair fell around her face in waves, and her eyes dilated at his touch. She opened her mouth to speak, but he dropped her hand with an inward growl. She stepped back. The shock on her face matched his. Had what should have been the happiest moment in either of their lives left her as gutted as it did him?

  A chair scraped across the slick floor, and Spencer turned his head just in time for Duncan’s fist to connect with his jaw in a solid right hook. Everything slowed.

  Gunnar grabbed Duncan’s arms.

  T
ables of shifters next to them stood.

  First Officer Laurit appeared at their table, his hands clenched at his sides.

  Duncan’s scent changed. The tinge of his musk Spencer associated with his brother’s illness was lifting.

  Spencer stumbled but righted himself with only a slight pause, then motioned to Gunnar to drop Duncan’s arms. Mate, his wolf said as it jumped inside of him. Lauren was his fated mate.

  Duncan remained in place, but his brother’s eyes burned a hole in Spencer.

  Spencer glanced around. Laurit stepped between the two of them. He didn’t need to. Duncan wouldn’t hit him again, and Spencer wouldn’t answer his blow. He owed his brother a free punch. Aurora was Duncan’s fated mate, as Lauren was his. Keeping fated mates apart for that long? He owed his brother a lot. Even doing it unknowingly. Fuck.

  Duncan’s wolf’s eyes flashed at him.

  Aurora hopped around the table, leaning on it, to get to him. “Why did you do that?” She glared at Duncan. “Spencer was only shaking Lauren’s hand.”

  Spencer didn’t have the words to answer. It was up to Duncan to tell Aurora she was Duncan’s mate.

  Michele and Lauren had moved to the far side of the room behind the waiter’s station. Spencer moved away from Aurora. He had done enough damage. Letting her comfort him would be cruel to his brother. The years of friendship Spencer had with Aurora equaled the years of unknown illnesses his brother had suffered.

  Spencer had taken the position of pack alpha at twenty-two. Aurora and Duncan didn’t have a chance at the mating bond, not with Spencer’s alpha pheromones having put a claiming marker on her first. His brother had suffered for years at his hands, and he’d had no idea. Years of hospital visits. Sick days. Migraines. Damn.

  “Let’s take you someplace to cool down.” Laurit grabbed Duncan by the shoulder and gave him a little shove to start him walking. Duncan growled but let Laurit lead them away from the gawking eyes in the dining room.

  As he walked away, Gunnar said, “Who says family dinners aren’t fun?”

  Spencer followed Duncan and Laurit out. He didn’t say a word to Aurora or the other guys. Lauren had left the dining room by then. Damn. Should he go after her? No, he owed it to his brother to follow him. It wasn’t Duncan’s fault he’d taken a swing at him. Years of being sick, of missing out on his mate. Years. It echoed in his head.

  Spencer gave Duncan and the First Officer a big lead. He couldn’t talk now. First Officer Laurit marched Duncan down the stairway. He stopped on the same level as the fighting ring. Laurit took Duncan down the hallway past the fighting arena lobby. The two of them disappeared into the third door, marked “Security.” Spencer lingered outside.

  Both he and his brother had mates. Only Duncan had missed years with his. Fuck. A whole decade. Mate, his wolf cried out. He needed to find her, but first the alpha in him had to help his pack. Guilt crushed Spencer. The distance between him and his brother over the years, Duncan’s standoffishness—now it made sense.

  When their parents left for Arizona he’d taken Duncan on as his responsibility. He was also the leader of the pack. And while his Aunt controlled the family business, the work crews looked to him for leadership. He was always in charge: of his pack, at work, and at home. Not that teenage Duncan had wanted or thought he needed leadership.

  Then came all the hospital visits. All the times he’d sat in a waiting room or at his brother’s bedside. How had he not noticed that his brother’s health improved whenever he wasn’t around? The hospital would release him, and Gunnar or Tad would bring him home, his arm over their shoulder as they helped him into bed. But he’d only get worse once he was home. Hell, Spencer had the kid's room tossed for mold. Before Duncan moved out, they’d thought about selling the family house, even though it was considered the center of the pack. How’d he miss all of the clear signals of Duncan’s illness? He needed to mull it over. Right now, guilt dripped like an IV.

  * * *

  With Duncan freed from the ship’s not-a-brig that looked a hell of a lot like a regular jail, he needed to find his mate. Neither Laurit nor the dark-haired shifter at the front desk wanted to help him. Privately, they’d congratulated him but wouldn’t give him Lauren’s room number. The front desk agent said he could leave a message on her ship-board phone, but what the hell was he going to say? Hey, it’s your mate, sorry about not talking to you earlier. And sorry for almost mating your college roommate. No, he didn’t leave a message. He needed to find her. And he wasn’t going to track down Aurora and ask her for Lauren’s room number. He wasn’t even sure that he could look at Aurora again. Not without being gutted. Why hadn’t Aurora gotten as sick as Duncan? It didn’t matter, he told himself. At least he didn’t have her illness on his hands as well.

  He made two circles around the ship, from the arena on the lower decks to a shifter lounge, a club, and the pool decks. He didn’t scent her anywhere. Around the stern of the ship on the Panther Deck, he finally picked up her scent. It led him to the rear stairs. The trail was weak but strong enough to follow. He wound down the stairs to the eighth deck, where the trail ended at an apex of six rooms. He steadied himself and knocked on the first door. A large nude lion shifter answered the door.

  “Wrong room—sorry.” He repeated it four times before Michele answered the door.

  “About time, Wolf.” She elbowed past him, then pointed a finger at him. “Hurt her and I will make you pay.”

  “Got it.”

  The cabin was dark but for a light shining out of the bathroom. Lauren sat on the bed on the far side of the room. Her back was to him. He scented her churning emotions. Grief, lust, guilt . . . . . . or were those his? Her cabin was smaller than his, but the light sea breeze stirred the sheer drapes, making them flutter. He ambled toward her but, recognizing her anxiety, he stopped out of arm’s reach. He didn’t trust himself not to reach out and run his fingers through the waves of her auburn hair. This wasn’t how he’d envisioned the first time alone with his mate. The guilt overwhelmed him.

  She stood, her arms clasped around her waist, and when she pivoted, the tears on her face made him reach for her.

  “I’m sorry. I should have followed you.” He pulled her to his chest. Lauren lay her head on him. Their arms entwined around each other. Spencer breathed her in. His wolf raged with happiness. Mate. “I needed to get Duncan out of the cell. I couldn’t leave him there.”

  “I know. I didn’t expect you to come chasing me down. I didn’t expect you to come for me at all.”

  “What? How could I not?”

  She sighed.

  He leaned away and lifted her chin to gaze into her eyes, pink from tears. “Hey, come on. I’m not that bad.”

  She laughed. And reached up and brought her lips to his. Stars exploded behind his eyelids. His cock thickened between the two of them. He trailed kisses down her neck and nibbled on her ear. Her core ground against him. Every twitch of her body sent him higher. He plucked her legs off the floor and lay her on the bed. With a tug, his shirt landed on the floor. Her shorts landed next to it. Lauren’s arousal hit him in a wave that made his wolf snap. Kneading her thighs, he licked at her clit, circling it with his tongue until her hips gyrated and she thrust them upward. Spencer inserted one, then two fingers into her channel as he grazed her little button. Hands in his hair, she watched him, their eyes locked. He’d never seen something so sexy before or been this hard. Never moved so quickly. Her eyes flickered. Were they blue or brown? At that moment her hips bucked, and her head snapped back to the bed as her release took her. Her fluttering pussy clamped down on his fingers as he rubbed her until she could take no more.

  He unbuttoned his pants, his cock the hardest it had ever been before in his life. Her hand found him, stroking up and down while his pants hung around his knees.

  “Wait.” She sat up and separated from him. “Wait, Goddess. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have let it get this far.”

  Goddess? The word clicked. Goddess. Hi
s head sobered.

  “You need to know before we go any further,” she said. “I thought . . . . . . I’m sorry. I thought we could mate and deal with it afterwards. But that’s wrong.”

  “What’s wrong, Lauren? What do I need to know?” He grasped it without her saying it but pulled his pants up nonetheless. His cock still throbbed with need for her, and his wolf whined at him.

  “I’m a witch.”

  He nodded his head in understanding, sat on the edge of the other bed, and put his head in his hands.

  “Aren’t you going to say anything?” she whispered, her eyes like a frightened animal.

  “Yes, give me a minute.” He would need more than a minute. He would need a whole fucking lifetime to fix this.

  “I’m not just any witch.”

  No, she lived in Erie, which meant that her coven had killed his uncle.

  “My dad was Boden Crisper.”

  “Your last name is Hill?” Boden Crisper. Fuck. Spencer’s forehead furrowed.

  “My mom changed our last name to her maiden name.”

  He shook his head, little shakes. Shakes that vibrated through his body. Lauren Crisper was his mate. The man that had destroyed his childhood was her father. Her father had cursed his uncle, making his father alpha, and now he was alpha instead of Tad.

  “Say something.” She laid a light touch on his forearm. Tears welled in her eyes.

  “I . . . I . . .” He held back tears too. “We can’t do this. This will bring war to my pack—and to your family. We can’t mate. We can’t do anything. It’s not worth it.” He grabbed his shirt and left her there on the bed. He stopped outside her cabin. The corridor wall held him up, his breath coming in short gasps. The image of abandoning his mate on her bed would curse him with more guilt forever.